colossal-sweat:

walking out of a bathroom with no hand dryers like

image

366,931 notes

lztybrn:

remember way back in 2006 when the wii first came out and then the entirety of the world forgot how to hold onto something with a firm grasp so much that nintendo had to make a shock absorbing condom just so that tvs wouldnt get destroyed when people would end up sending this thing flying at their tvs at 900 miles per hour

162,709 notes

  • my math teacher: *pulls out dollar bill* how much is this worth?
  • Students: $1
  • teacher: *folds bill in half* how much is this worth now?
  • students: $1
  • teacher: *folds bill in half again* how much is it worth now?
  • students: $1
  • teacher: what about if I crumple it up and throw it on the ground? Will someone pass by it and say, "Ooh, a dollar, but I won't pick it up because it's all crumpled and dirty"?
  • students: No, because it's still worth a dollar.
  • teacher: Exactly. No matter how much a human goes through or how much they do, they're still worth the life of a human.
  • 45,589 notes

the-misadventures-of-lele:

squidwurd:

condommodel:

today at work someone tipped me a potato

image

in some countries that is a marriage proposal

Even the potato looks confused

169,851 notes

volcainist:

epic-humor:

i accidentally messed up my life how do i start a new account

922,850 notes

sleeping-booty:

quimbycub:

willow-wanderings:

nedahoyin:

queenqueerqutie:


Martin Bauendahl

Real life vs Societal expectations

Wow..

Yeah, news flash people, boobs generally only look “perky” while in a bra. A few are super lucky and have naturally perky boobs, most don’t. And this is because, SURPRISE, boobs are intended to feed babies and it’s hard for a baby being cradled in mum’s arm to reach a nipple that’s on the other side of the boob from where its mouth is.Think of a soda fountain machine. The spouts are all pointing down, right? So you can put soda in a cup being held under the spout? If the spout was sticking straight out, it would be really hard to get a soda out of it.Babies need to be able to reach a nipple easily so they can eat. Ergo, nipples are usually lower and angled more downward on a naturally hanging boob, both so it’s easier for a baby to reach and so gravity can do its part in pulling milk toward the nipple.So there you go, outright ANATOMICAL proof that boobs are not there for the benefit of men.

Thank you for that. I never realized. Thanks.


As someone who is really self conscious of their boobs, this made me feel great.

kingcheddarxvii:

I volunteered at an animal shelter yesterday and while I was hosing down the dozenth dirty dog kennel I thought to myself “why am I doing this without pay again?” and then I walked into the room with like 15 kittens in it and they all started meowing at me and I was like, yes, that’s why

52,626 notes

"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards."Søren Kierkegaard (via feellng)

1,111 notes

dggus:

i talk a lot of shit for someone who can’t choose rude dialogue options in games because i’m scared of hurting a characters feelings

165,945 notes